To co-sleep or not to co-sleep? Two very different experiences
With my first new born baby it would never have been an option to sleep with her in the same bed as me while she was under 12 months, not because I didn’t want to, but because I was too scared of the risks of SIDS. I would count the days until she was old enough to get in my bed and we could fall asleep together, skin to skin, breathing her baby smell, cuddling her and being covered in sloppy baby kisses.
At 14 months the moment finally arrived when I felt it should be safe enough now to have her sleep with me … and the reality hit in ! She had a completely different sleep routine to me and my hubby. Most nights we would wake up freezing where she would kick the blankets off us, she liked to sleep diagonally which meant I would end up with a pair of toddler feet in my face with the occasionally kick in the head, and worst of all she hated being cuddled or touched while falling asleep! Around 16 months she got better and slept ok with us. Not always but mostly, though she would have a baby temper tantrum at us if she woke up for some reason.
With my second baby it was completely different. From day one he has always slept next to me in a Sleepyhead (I will write another blog sometime on this really useful kit) as I breast fed him on demand and followed his lead rather than imposing a routine on him (as I did with my first born). Having him sleeping in his Sleepyhead in the same bed meant that not only did I get the joy of safely being with my baby in bed, I also got more sleep this way as I could breast feed him easier and quicker without getting out of bed. I guess it’s true what they say: you’re a lot more relaxed with your second!
Here are five things I learnt :
1. It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be...
You can make co-sleeping safe by getting a Sleepyhead and placing it over the duvet. For me I felt safer knowing he wouldn’t get wedged between a wall or the head board, or wriggle under my blanket. I think with my first I just believed everything I read on the internet and followed it word by word.
2. Keeping the SnuzPod as backup was a waste of space...
With my first born we had used the SnuzPod and the initial intention had been to keep it as a fall-back option. It was placed in the most appropriate place right next to my side of the bed and made all ready for him with new mattress and bedding. But we never used it. The funny thing is we kept it there until he was 10 months old just in case, but in reality, it just took up a lot of space for no reason and was the cause of many a stubbed foot of my husband who’s pretty clumsy…
3. Who's bed is it anyway?...
This is no longer my bed or even bedroom anymore! Getting into bed is no longer a chilled experience with a good book or relaxing moment with dimmed lights or fun having a chat with my husband: instead its literally a SAS assault course making it into bed under the duvet without making any noise or rustling the covers too much so as not to disturb the baby. This all seems to make my husband even more clumsy than usual resulting in him hitting his knee or elbow on something, whilst also strangely making his allergy’s worse making him sneeze at just the wrong moment. He got a lot of staggering eyeball looks from me pretty much every night!
4. Baby cuddles are the most precious...
I would use the Sleepyhead as a side pillow and cuddle my baby it really is the best. I get to be close to him, feel him against me, easily check if he was ok and breathing, not to mention the convenience of it while breast feeding. It also comforted him knowing that I was right there next to him and as a result he was very settled with no crying. It was a magical feeling…
5. "When are the kids moving into their own bed?"
While there are those incredible moments of co sleeping and the loving morning cuddles there are also moments I want my bed back to sleep with space and a blanket, I also want to enjoy my husband and just not have a kid in my bed. My husband acts all tough and is now asking “OK WHEN WE ARE MOVING THE KIDS INTO THEIR OWN BED?” but I know he’ll also miss them if/when they move out. It’s a tough decision to make and I don’t think I’m ready for it yet …..
